Rumsfield, Bush in Hot Water Over Falsified Army Recruit Birth Certificate

Quantico, VA - In an administration already on its last legs in terms of public toleration, further controversy has struck as news reports have arisen in which the U.S. Army allegedly falsified birth certificates of Army recruits in order to bulk up their force numbers.

The straw that broke the camels back was that of Trevor "T.J." Kittles, a 3'1" 4-year-old, rumored to have only recently graduated from Pull-Ups Overnights who was found in a Fort Bragg base bunk cleaning floors with a toothbrush.

"We just thought he was undersized, you know, a little person," claimed Rumsfeld before fleeing a throng of reporters at a recent press conference.

While the world is outraged, little T.J. seems okay. In fact, he has refused to abandon his country in its "time of need" and has vowed to stay on with the Army "until all the sand-eaters are in their place." Child psychologists are alarmed at these recent reports and anti-war activists are using it as proof of the underhanded media brainwash of patriotism that the Bush administration has subtly bombarded the American public with since 9/11.