Psychologists Claim Baseball Managers' Uniform Shows Inability to Cope with Aging

Atlanta, GA - Perhaps more socially vexing than the stinging question of "Who shot JFK?" or "Where are Saddam's WMD?" is the oft-asked query into the realm of male sportsdom: "Why do MWUPB (managers wear uniforms in professional baseball)?"



The absurdity of the spectacle is inherently American. In no other nation, in no other sport does the coach dress as if at any instance he might have to put himself in the game. Why baseball? Johns Hopkins University psychology professor Joseph Caruthers is working on answering that question with his latest research.



"It seems they just can't leave it behind," says Caruthers, noting that most professional managers once played baseball, at least at some level, themselves before becoming the chairman of the bench. "It's almost an external showing of a fear of inadequacy. Many of the managers weren't that good," remarks Caruthers, noting that the most famous of those who were good stuck around to bet on baseball (Pete Rose). "Baseball is a somewhat wearable uniform as well," remarks Caruthers, explaining why the phenomenon does not occur in other sports. "There are no pads like football and no underarm fat exposure that a sport like basketball would bring about.



Fans can only dream about the miraculous drop in ticket prices that would have occurred had Madden suited up on the Raiders sideline, or Majerus dawned a Utes jersey on the baseline while coaching at the University of Utah.