Nancy Grace, Geraldo Rivera Seek to Spawn Uber-Journalist at NYC Fertility Clinic

Manhattan, NY - Amidst a swirl of rumors that CNN's Nancy Grace and Fox News' Geraldo Rivera were the new hot item in the steamy world of bad journalistic integrity, the two held a joint press conference earlier this morning to announce that they have each secured reproductive materials at the Manhattan Sperm Bank and Fertility Clinic in hopes of eventually yielding a test-tube, born-to-be-a-journalist child.

"I know very little about the law, but I act like I do and acting is 99% of journalism today in America," boasted Grace, only to be followed up by Rivera who braggingly recalled his days as a daytime talk show host on Fox and his current segments on Fox News in which he is seemingly brought in as a correspondent with the sole purpose of looking unprofessional - on Fox News!

"Nancy and I are very excited about this opportunity to create a being of journalism for the nation's future. With the recent hiring of Katie Couric for the CBS anchor job, I don't need to go into much detail about how soiled and defaced the field has become. With Nancy and I's combined genetic powers, the next generation will have a chance to receive the same BS and pre-spun, filtered information that Nancy and I so stage for the contemporary generation."

Doctors at the Clinic are hopeful that the project will be a success, but warn that no such undertaking is a guarantee. "These procedures have become increasingly successful in recent years, but the possibility of a miracle not occuring is something that we must unfortunately always have in the back of our minds," said Dr. Ranji Supan of the Clinic. In a grilling follow-up, Grace confronted the response from Supan: "So what you're saying, Dr., if you're really a doctor, is that the Russians are behind a recent plot to genetically alter all American children, or am I just not hearing you right?" Not to be left out, Rivera correctingly offered, "Nancy, I think what the good Dr. is trying to say is that the liberal media is behind this, and that the Soviets along with NASA are plotting to contaminate the American cheese supply."

One can only hope, for the sake of the future of journalism, that this laboratory union is one of the miracles that does not occur.