Hacksaw Jim Duggan to Serve as U.N. Ambassador

New York City, NY - The U.S. Senate Foreign Affairs Committee made the expected announcement earlier today that former WWF (now WWE) professional wrestling star Hacksaw Jim Duggan will represent the United States in up to three United Nations committees from June 2006 until January of 2008. Unverified sources are speculating that Hacksaw's talents will most likely be extended toward issues of national and international security. Duggan may also demonstrate his special skills, including his familiarity with building materials and lumber, to the U.N. Committee for the Improvement of Worldwide Living Conditions.



When asked if he's excited about this opportunity as an international diplomat and a chance to serve as an iconic symbol of American democracy upon the international stage, Duggan said: "Kick ass." Upon further prompting, Duggan went on to note how he intends to call upon his 1986 victory over the Iron Sheik for the title belt as a source of inspiration for fighting terrorists. "I took 'em ragheads out once," says Duggan, "and I can do it again."



Only one question remains for the 'roid-ragged, grizzly-bearded machismo: "why the 2x4?" "It's a cheap tool for kickin' ass," says Duggan. "Not everybody [is] runnin' 'round with bread in they pockets," insists Duggan, "but they gotta find a way to beat ass on the cheap." Hopefully he will be able to take his sterling diction and hankering for economical ass-kickin' to a new plateau of international success in his new role as U.N. Ambassador from the beacon of freedom: the U.S. of A.