Iowa Man Seeks Sale of "Jesus Stained Underpants" on E-Bay

Ames, IA - "It had been a long night of drinking," began Teddy Peterson in response to a throng of reporters huddled in his living room, anxious for the story. "I came home and passed out in the living room and apparently had pretty much lost control of my bowel movements. When I awoke the next day at 4 p.m., I carefully shuffled into the bathroom because I had the feeling as if something magical had happened."

The miracle that Teddy was describing is the same miracle he is now willing to pass on to the highest (money, that is) Internet bidder: a defecation trouser stain that seemingly resembles Jesus Christ.

"I painstakingly removed the shorts and when I happened to look down, it was like the lord was looking right back at me, it was amazing."

This most recent attempt to cash in on "natural" occurrences that seem to resemble religious figures has pushed some critics over the edge. Already wary from the "Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese Sandwhich" episode, certain religious leaders around the country are calling for a halt to Internet auctions for the sake of religious sanctity.



How does Teddy respond to that? "I can't control what happened, it was an act from above." Or below, the belt that is.

When, reluctantly, asked to produce the alleged under garments, Teddy managed a flustered excuse about the inability to show them to reporters for the sake of preserving the image. Additionally, E-Bay will not let Teddy post a photo of the dirty drawers because it goes against company policy. "Those who want to get close to the lord will simply have to trust in me as his messenger," retorts Teddy to any claims of fraud of bad faith. So far, no one has submitted a bid.