West Virginia Two-some Honored with 2006 "Wilderness Couple" Award

Bear Back Springs, WV - Ted-Joe Stinson and Debbie-Bob Stinson-Channing were the proud recipients of the 2006 "Wilderness Couple" award, an annual honor co-sponsored by "Royal Hillbilly" magazine and the National Rifle Association. The Stinsons mark the first-ever West Virginia couple to take home the coveted title.

Criteria judged in determining the winners included, but was not limited to: beard grit ppm, bodily smell degree, split-end:healthy strand ratio, and undergarment stainage/square inch.

"We don't live in the wilderness," said a confused Ted-Joe (left in above photo) upon accepting the award, "I'm not even fully sure what this is all about." Nonetheless, the couple seemed pleased to add another item to their mantle, already garnished with the head of Pronghorn Antelope that Debbie-Bob strangled to death during their 1981 honeymoon to Idaho.

Perhaps the most notable portion of the gala evening occurred when a mentally infirmed Charlton Heston, suffering from an advanced stage of Alzheimer's Disease, had to be pulled off stage by fellow NRA board members after he grabbed the microphone and began shouting racial epithets that warned the audience of an oncoming holy war in which the militias of the U.S. must unite against the forthcoming minorities.

The Stinsons did not comment as to Hestons remarks. Reports that a confederate flag flies over their West Virginia trailer home have gone unconfirmed.