Raffi Tops Bush's "Axis of Evil" List

Washington, D.C. - Fresh off of his latest NSA wire-tap briefing, President George W. Bush, aka "W," announced today at a press conference in the White House rose garden that children's songwriter Raffi is a suspected leader of the "Axis of Evil," the Bush-conceived trinity of world powers that is secretly out to get the U.S., composed, at times, of North Korea, Iran, Iraq, China, North Dakota, and "Others."

"Raffi, as he is known by his fans, is a suspect in the ongoing war on terrorism," stated a surprisingly well-dictioned Bush, "and we will not desist in our efforts to find him, until he is found."

When asked what exactly Raffi's suspected role in the "Axis" is, Bush only offered this: "He appears to be of Arabian decent, and that fact, coupled with this single-word name - probably a code name - makes him likely a part of Al-Qaeda."



Raffi's career as a child's songwriter was marked by a streak of success in the late 1980's with "Brush Your Teeth" and "Baby Beluga." His songs preached world peace and responsibility - the perfect guise for a spy within American borders, likely obtaining two decades worth of "nucular secrets before being detected," claimed Bush.