Proctor & Gamble To Donate Over 1 Billion in Personal Hygiene Products

Cincinnati, OH - Proctor & Gamble announced today to make an unprecedented donation of over 1 billion in personal hygiene products. "As the world leader in consumer goods we feel we are in a great position to make this happen," says Mark Johnson, Senior Vice President of Marketing.

The donation is in response to a growing concern that the world may be getting a foul stench. Many scientists believe this phenomenon is occurring because not enough people are utilizing personal hygiene products. "There is a large market segment out there that we have yet to capture," Mr. Jordan added. Scientists believe that this stench, combined with the increasing population growth rate of key "stench producing countries" such as China and the Middle East, could cause a world wide odor problem as soon as 2010. "You think breathing in Los Angeles is hard? Los Angeles will seem like frolicking high atop the Appalachian Mountains if this keeps growing," said Keenan McDonald of the Center of Disease Control in Georgia.

Proctor and Gamble plan to take a unique approach to this already bizarre marking campaign. They are focusing their marketing efforts on areas heavily populated by minorities such as San Francisco, New York, Los Angeles and many other large U.S. cities. Also, they plan to take advantage of the low brand loyalty teenagers and young adults have and specifically target college campuses with large engineering and business schools. "We realize we can't appeal to everyone, that's why we want to start young. Our market research shows that teenagers and young adults are just as smelly as older adults," Mr. Jordan explained. When asked why Proctor and Gamble is donating over 1 billion products when there are only 300 million residents in the U.S. Mr Jordan added "We plan to get those in foreign countries, like China and India, that are contemplating immigrating to the U.S That way, when they arrive, they won't stink up the place."

"This is a step in the right direction. Because of what Proctor and Gamble is doing, I can plan for a future where my kids won't have to smell the underside of an armpit every time they want to go for a walk," said Mr. McDonald.