O'Reilly Explanation for YouTube Clip: "Not Me"

No Spin Zone, CA - Responding to the recent YouTube release of a clip featuring a more youthful Bill O'Reilly lashing out on crew members of the intellectual television journal "Inside Edition" after he appears to be unable to read the cue cards, O'Reilly has this to say of his behavior: "It's not me the tape." When asked to follow up, O'Reilly elaborated, "Think about it. Don't be an idiot - think about it. Before you start going out there and spreading these lies about me, think about it. Let's break this down Talking-Points-style. First of all, I would never wear a tie that ugly. Blue ties also make my eyes look jaundiced. Second of all, I have never had that much hair. And finally, I work at Fox News, okay? Do you know what Fox News is? I'll tell you. Fox News is the only unbiased, fair and balanced source for what's going on in the world. Anyone who gets their news elsewhere is a dolt. So why would I - with the capability of being a highly-respected, world-wide journalist for real news - ever take a job at Inside Edition. Think about it. Tell me where I'm wrong."



Before moving on, O'Reilly was pressed further for information from reporters. Why would somebody make a fake clip of O'Reilly? "Don't you see?" asked a facetious O'Reilly, "This is just another attempt by the biased liberal media to spin me. Just like the tried to spin with that fake sexual harassment allegation regarding Andrea Mackris that I paid $10 million to settle because it was fake. This is the liberal media and crazy left-wing nuts with their endless money trying to take me down because I report the truth."

Asked for still more follow-up, O'Reilly became irate: "F* it! I can't take this! F* it! We'll do it live!"